Category Archives: Diet Tales

What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

So today is day four of my forty-three day diet. It’s probably only going to be about a 37 day diet because I’m out this beeatch in that many days. But here’s hoping I lose that 28 pounds I’m looking to give away free to a home. It doesn’t even have to be a good home. Or a mediocre home. Just a home. Problem with this diet, aside from the raging hunger and possible murdering, is the fact I pee non-stop. Mainly because all I can drink it tea and water, two culprits well-known to me to cause major peeage. In fact, I was up every hour and a half last night emptying my bladder. Something I’m certain you’re happy to know. And something I’m happy to share.

You're welcome

So, yesterday, day three, I took a good long hard look at myself and my eating habits. Then I cussed out my parents for passing off french fries as a vegetable. Then I cussed myself out for having no GD will power. I mean, LOOK AT ME! I cannot stand the way I look, yet I do nothing about it. I work out, and I can feel that muscle in my abs and arms and legs, but cannot see them because I love me some fast food. Because of all that, I feel the need to go to the extreme. I either work out more than I should, or not work out at all. Right now, I’m in that “more than I should” phase, as evidenced by the fact I can barely walk because my muscles are screaming for mercy. I either eat too damn much, especially if I’m pissed off, or I don’t eat anything at all. Yesterday, all I did was watch the clock, waiting for it to be time to eat again. Hopefully, those feelings will pass. Hopefully I can lose that 28 pounds (I still have more to lose, but my goal in all this is 28 pounds; I can worry about the rest when I’m in Australia and no longer dependent on a car) and I won’t feel like a land whale. Even if I don’t look like one, I still feel like one. And hopefully I get through this without resorting to violence. It might be difficult, though, since I work for stupidheads.

So, I’ll be keeping you all updated. Only because I know I will blow off my diet and exercise program if I don’t. And I will need Joders to keep me in line because I’m looking to do this in 2013, so obviously I will need to get into shape. And round isn’t the shape I’m looking for. This is what I want to look like, even if I never will

Minus the blonde hair, though. I look ridiculous with blonde hair.
So, stay tuned! You might get my story of success, or you might see me on the evening news! If you do, send bail money, no joke. Thanks.

This might be me in a couple days. I do accept checks.

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Posted by on July 26, 2011 in Diet Tales